Killer Kitty
by Metoria
Summary: Carter finds a cat that isn’t very nice to anyone else. What happens when it becomes a problem for the group and even the Germans? What happens when the Gestapo get involved?


Killer Kitty-

Carter finds a cat that isn't very nice to anyone else. What happens when it becomes a problem for the group and even the Germans? What happens when the Gestapo get involved?

…

Newkirk entered the barracks and found Carter on his bunk acting guilty. He looked like he was hiding something. "Alright what is it?"

"What's what?" Carter asked averting his eyes.

Newkirk rolled his eyes and reached over to Carter's jacket. He pulled it open and there in the coat was a cat. "Carter! You know we can't keep him!"

At hearing the Englander call it a 'him' the cat woke up and lunged at his hand on the jacket and bit as hard as she could.

Newkirk pulled his hand back but the cat wouldn't let him go. It growled and bit harder its claws were imbedded into his hand and arm. He shook his arm trying to get the vicious animal off. He screamed and Hogan and the others ran in, worried something serious was happening. Of course, when they saw it was a cat the started laughing but then stopped when they saw the blood coming from his hand and his yelling was getting worse. He tried to hit it away but the cat went for his other hand too. The men rushed to help Newkirk, but backed off when the cat clawed at them.

Then Carter got up and said, "Now, now Princess, Newkirk is a friend, he wont hurt you, now let go." Carter spoke so sweetly and softly the men nearly didn't hear him. At Carter's voice, the cat let go of Newkirk and became sweet as pie as she purred like an angel.

Newkirk held his hand. "Blimey! That thing is a menace!"

At the insult the cat lunged slightly and hissed.

Newkirk jumped back and ran behind Hogan. "Keep that thing away from me!"

"It's just a cat. There's no need to be afraid of her." Carter said cheerfully petting his dear new animal friend. Princess jumped out of his arms and ran out of the barracks.

"Good, its gone!" Newkirk came out from his hiding place behind Hogan who shook his head!

"Aww… don't be like that! She's so cuddly!" Carter looked out the door to see her run under Klink's office.

"Cuddly?!" Newkirk could not believe what he was hearing.

Carter looked at him like he was being silly. "Yeah! She's such a sweetie!"

The men rolled their eyes at him.

About two hours later Hogan went to see Klink to request some extra rations of white bread for his men, only to find the man in a bit of trouble. It seemed that the cat that Carter had was now asleep on Klink's desk and wouldn't let him at his papers.

"Hogan! You get it off!" The cat, ears back and fur raised, hissed at the German AND the American as they tried to get close. They backed up cautiously. "Hogan! This animal wont let me anywhere near my desk! I have so much work to do! If General Burkhalter finds out-"

"Finds out what? That you're slacking?"

Klink turned around and saw the General walk into his office with Hochstetter.

"General Burkhalter, so good to see you, Sir!" Klink was being too friendly like he usually was when some brass came into camp.

"Klink! Why aren't you at your desk working?" Burkhalter walked further into the room and looked at the desk where the cat was now cleaning her face.

Klink gestured to the desk. "Well you see, sir, this cat-"

"Cat? You should be able to handle a cat, Klink!" Hochstetter went over to the desk and grabbed the cat by the scruff.

The Cat Lunged!

…

Later

…

General Burkhater had returned from town. "Seems the Major will be alright. He didn't lose his eyes like we thought he did. Although he'll still have to stay in the hospital for a few more weeks."

"Well, that's a relief." Klink said letting out his breath.

"Is that cat still on your desk?" General Burkhalter asked hoping the coast was clear.

"Yes Sir, I can't get anywhere near it."

"Lets go see if we can trick it off." General Burkhalter and Klink went into the office and found Hilda making of the feline.

"Hello, Sirs." She said as she finished petting the cat who was purring sweetly and definitely had a smile on her face. "Bye, Princess, I have work to do you know."

The cat meowed and continued purring as Hilda left the office passed by Hogan who was entering. Hogan gave her a sweet smile then went on into the office. "Sir, about those extra bread rations?"

"Hogan, we have bigger problems right now!" Klink said trying to think.

"My man Carter can handle the cat." Hogan said casually. "He seems to have a way with animals."

"Bring him in here, Hogan." Burkhalter ordered Hogan and moved to get a look at the cat.

Hogan returned shortly with Carter. "Oh, hi Princess. I was wondering where you went to."

"Get it off my desk!" Klink ordered then received a fierce hiss from the cat and he immediately flinched back.

Carter casually walked up to the desk. "Sorry Princess, I have to move you, I hope you don't mind. You can sleep on one of the bunks in the barracks if you like."

"On your bunk Carter, your bunk." Hogan corrected. He didn't need that crazy cat in his bunk.

Carter looked at Hogan and understood what he meant. "What about your spare bunk, Sir?"

Hogan sighed, "Fine." Apparently Carter didn't want her in his bunk either.

"She doesn't like grown men." Carter explained.

"So what about you?" Hogan asked.

"She still considers me a kid." Carter was still petting her.

"So do I." Hogan replied half to himself.

"She likes Hilda. Plus you have to know how to treat her."

"Like a princess." Hogan understood now. The cat was a witch… just switch the first letter. "So, what are we going to do with her? She can't very well stay here!"

"Aww, but Colonel."

"No." Hogan spoke somewhat harsher than he'd have liked, but Carter couldn't keep every animal that came his way. "Take her into the barracks and put her on my bottom bunk and make sure she stays there!"

Carter nodded solemnly and gently picked up the now purring cat and placed her into his arms and left.

"Thank you, Hogan!" Klink made his way to his desk and brushed off the cat fur that was still on the desk.

"Now he can get back to work!" The General said faux cheerfully.

Klink lowered in his chair and nodded, "Yes, Sir back to work." He took his paper work and got cracking.

"Oh, Sir, about those extra rations?"

"Denied! I've had a long day Hogan. Now, dismissed!" Klink saluted Hogan who returned the salute and left.

When he returned to the barracks Carter and the cat were no where to be found. "Where's Carter?"

"I think I saw him run over by the well." Newkirk said, his hand was wrapped up from when the cat had attacked him.

Hogan left and found Carter kneeling next to the well. "Carter, what are you doing?" The cat was sitting on the edge of the well.

"Colonel! She attacked Felix!" Carter complained.

"Carter, cats do that. Felix is a mouse after all." Hogan explained.

"But Sir! She tried to drop him down the well and then she was going to watch him drown!"

Hogan nearly laughed but resisted since it upset Carter so much. Instead he sighed. "We have to find a different home for this cat."

Felix jumped out of Carters hand and bolted with the cat hot on its tail!

"Felix! Come back!" Carter and Hogan ran after the mouse and the cat. They ran straight into the outer office.

Hilda jumped up from where she was sitting and ran to help. She caught the cat in her arms as it dove for Felix who cowered in the corner.

Carter quickly picked Felix up into his hands and cradled him. "Colonel what are we going to do? If she stays she'll eat Felix! Or drown him!"

"Well she can't stay here. Why don't we just let her go out into the woods!" Hogan suggested.

"But what if there are wolves out there?" Carter was too worried.

"Carter there aren't wolves in the woods." Hogan said sighing.

"But we can't let her out in the woods alone! What if she can't fend for herself?"

"She's a cat she can fend for herself! If she injured Newkirk's hand and put Hochstetter in the hospital I think she can fend for herself."

"Well…yeah, but," Carter looked down. "I don't want to just leave her in the woods. That's mean."

"What if I took her?" Hilda said petting the content feline. "I could keep her in my apartment. She'd be nice and warm there and well fed."

Carter looked at Hilda then at the happy cat in her arms. "Okay, I guess that's okay. I bet she'll be happy there too. Especially if its just you two. She doesn't like to share with other cats and she hates men." Carter was happy with the decision.

Hogan sighed in relief; the problem was solved. "Okay, then it's settled? Hilda will take the cat home with her tonight."

Hilda and Carter agreed in unison.

Hilda went back to work, letting Princess sleep on the side of her desk and Carter took Felix back to the barracks where he'd be safe.

Hogan was glad the issue was resolved. Although Hochstetter would probably be back for revenge or something. When he thought about it, it was very funny what happened to Hochstetter.

So the Cat, the Mouse and everyone in Stalag Thirteen lived happily ever after. Even Hochstetter who still had his eyes.

…

[AN] HAR HAR HAR! I came up with this today when I was giving my cats some catnip. HAHA It reminded me of a cat I had once. She was like the cat mentioned in the story. She was psycho! Hated men and was a Witch! (one letter off. Heehee) Sigh. I have the weirdest stories and kind of random too. Especially how I get them!

Don't worry my cat never tried to kill us or take out our eyes.. But when she was sleep on the end of the counter where our keys were, (she would sleep on them) We'd nearly love our hand trying to get them.

Well that's the story! Hope you liked it! R&R


End file.
